The Rota Saga

Change jobs on Wednesday, still no rota so I've no idea what I'm doing for the next 4 months. Which weekends am I working? When can I take annual leave or is it allocated? Am I unreasonable in thinking we should have had this rota weeks ago? Not impressed.

Will really miss A+E, not looking forward to orthopaedics despite always having considered it as a career. Being the 'orthopaedic opinion' should be interesting, even more so on nights when I'm responsible for all surgical admissions too!

Quarter Life Crisis

I should probably elaborate on my last post a little. According to wikipedia I'm having a quarter life crisis, a time usually in the mid twenties where one is no longer a young and care free individual but at the same time not quite ready to cross the line into being a true 'grown up'. It is perhaps a little cliche and even melodramatic to describe this as a crisis but there doesn't seem like a better way!

I'm currently working as an F2 in A+E, a job which I enjoy and dislike equally. It is tremendously interesting, varied and requires much improvisation but the shifts are a pain in the arse, some of the staff rather useless and I don't feel I'm particularly good at it. The reason for the last point is I lack the depth of medical knowledge (partly through being a lazy medical student and partly through being at a shit medical school) I also have a crisis of self-confidence in A+E, something I'm not really used to. Another thing that doesn't help is I'm staying in hospital accommodation during the week and only seeing missbliss when I'm not working (which is rare in A+E). I hate my prison cell room with a passion but it's the cheapest, most convenient option. One thing I do know is that I will really miss A+E as a job but will be glad to be rid of the shifts!

Careerwise, I'm pleased to say that medicine is for me, I just have no idea what specialty. I know I almost certainly don't want to do general medicine although I would love to have the level of knowledge that goes with being a medical registrar! I've always had a passion for orthopaedics but have next to zero anatomy knowledge and am not quite the right personality type. I've also always liked and been quite good at radiology but I suspect that would bore me and I miss the acute side of things. A+E is great fun but the politics and shifts are hurrendous! GP land would suit my personality and lifestyle but again I would find it rather dull. The option of being a GP with an interest in A+E might be a possibility to combine the best of both worlds, I have spoken to GPs who do this so I know it is possible but am not sure how easy it would be.

So where does this leave me? Well specialty training applications open in a month and I haven't a clue. The other option is New Zealand for a year but whether that would help I don't know, I suspect it would just be a postponement of the same issues but at least it would be an interesting adventure!

Crisis might be a strong word but it is all I can think about at the moment and it's driving me a little bit crazy and making me feel useless! Although I'm not quite at the stage of buying a bright red sports car (as much as I'd love to, I don't have the money). And the loose women? well that just doesn't appeal in the slightest, I'm quite happy with missbliss thanks!

Any advice would be grately appreciated.

Hi

For anyone still reading - what shall I do with my life?

Alive

I'm alive

Surgery is well over and done with now - It was a rather odd experience really but I miss it

My new job is a bit strange too, I feel like I've hardly worked this past month and a half but its because its a strange rota and all my leave is used up now

Medical nights start tonight for 4 nights - HELL!

Hope you're all fine and dandy

Time

Work is hard at the moment, I'm working 11 hour days most days at the moment excluding on calls (EWTD my arse) and it's going to get worse over the next month as 1 of us will be doing the job of 2 people as we use up our annual leave! I'm working the weekend ( if I've not contracted norovirus) and frankly things are starting to do my head in - mostly incomptence an uselessness on the part of other people.

Anyway when is one supposed to do the things that everyone else always seems to have time to do?

Half Way

This year's cohort of 'new' doctors have just passed the half-way point, this includes me. Six months down, six paydays celebrated, and a wealth of experience gained. They say time flies when you're having fun and time  has certainly flown by, does this mean it has been fun? Well.... yes on the whole it has. I very pleased to say that I really enjoy what I do most of the time, in fact the only thing I hate  about the job  is pre-op assessment (where the surgical F1s see elective surgical cases a week or so before they are admitted to pick up any potential problems which might be encountered). I'm not sure why I hate pre-op so much, I just find the whole process horrendously boring.

Things I have learnt in the past 6 months include:

1.  I don't enjoy being fast-bleeped - it generally means something catastrophic has happened

2. There are some awfully sad things that happen to people

3. Nobody else likes the crust ends of bread loaves - which suits me!

4. Bourbon biscuits are the most popular among doctors

5. Looking into someone's eyes as they die unexpectedly is something you don't forget in a hurry

6. Most surgical stereotypes are true

7. The way to a nurse's heart is chocolate cake

8. Medicine is infinitely more imprecise than textbooks would have you believe

9. I am stoical - apparently

10. I don't have the faintest clue what I want to do...

I wrote last just before I started my surgical post and frankly I was dreading it because of the reputation it has. The past two months haven't been anywhere near as bad as I was expecting. It is rather busy and I tend to finish later than I did when doing medicine but it could be much worse. Surgery is a lot different to medicine; medicine was busy but steady all day long but surgery, at least as a house officer, is chaos from 8 till 9am then ridiculously quiet for much of the day until about 4pm when things generally start to go tits up, blood results come back and patients for the next day come in. 

Before I even went to medical school I wanted to be a surgeon, this ambition continued throughout medical school but I'm not a stereotypical surgeon and I'm now having somewhat of a career life crisis as I try and figure out what the hell I want to do. I really enjoy the practical aspects which points me towards surgery but there is this whole surgical ethos which I just can't find it in myself to agree with. A big consideration has to be the sort of colleagues you're going to have in future and I'm just not sure I'm a surgeon. After 2 months of surgery, I can see myself being absorbed by the attitude and I don't like it at all. I enjoyed my medicine job far more than I thought I might but the idea of being a medical registrar scare the bajesus out of me! The only thing I think I'm certain on is that I like hospital medicine rather than general practice - but I'm not even 100% sure of this. Some might say its a little early to be worrying abut this but in less than 12 months I'll have to apply for a specialty. 

In the meantime I hope to continue having fun and gaining more experience.